Great post on Think Christian from Monday. "Former LA Times religion writer William Lobdell tells a sad and moving story about how his job as a religion reporter wore down his faith." It seems that the reality of sin in God's churches led this writer to question, and ultimately lose, his faith.
It's sad, but true, that sin exists in God's followers as much as it does in the world. It's the problem with free will and sin and living in a fallen world. And it makes me angry.
One of the responses on TC suggested that Lobdell's faith must not have been real. Real faith can't be lost. But what's the point of questioning whether or not the author's faith was genuine to begin with? I can tell you with complete confidence and conviction that my faith was very strong and very real before I lost it. There is no doubt that I truly believed...and then I truly didn't. My reason was the same as that stated by Lobdell: the lack of evidence in God's followers.
I see now, as a more mature follower, that sometimes faith IS a choice. Lobdell wrote, "Either you have the gift of faith or you don't. It's not a choice. It can't be willed into existence." No, it can't be willed into existence, God has to plant the seed, but I find that I do have to choose to nurture that seed. Satan can put lots of evidence in front of me that God doesn't exist, but I have to choose to look for God around me and seek him out. God's followers aren't perfect, and sometimes we can be just as filthy as the world around us. And that is one of the saddest realities of sin. But I have to choose to focus on the things that support and build up my faith. That doesn't mean hiding my head in the sand and pretending that God's followers are perfect. It means facing the filth head-on, while looking for (and being) the evidence of God's love to the world. While I might be disgusted by the way some of God's people act, I can choose to be part of the light that Jesus commanded us to be, and in doing so, I am contradicting Satan's lies to myself and to people like Lobdell .
I'm posting about this because want to be reminded of this article. I want to read it when I need reminding of what happens when we choose to focus on the sin around us instead of the Redeemer and the possibilities that he offers us. God doesn't hit us over the head; he doesn't force us to believe. But he gives us plenty of opportunities to see him if we'll just open our eyes to him.