Coveting versus Contentment

Funny, the little things God does to me. I'm on the programming team for our new pre-teen ministry. Yesterday's lesson was on the 10th commandment, "You shall not covet." This morning, I was looking for some notes I made when we went to a retreat at the Ozark Conference Center in August, and I found a journal entry that I made in the back of that notebook early one morning of the retreat. I had forgotten how recently I had been struggling with this very issue.
Here are some of my notes from that morning:

I come to places like this with the beauty of your creation all around me, and I am in awe of you. I am drawn to Isaiah 6: 3 "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory." I am reminded that "The heavens declare the glory of God" (Ps 19:1). Your creation proclaims your glory to "all the earth" (Ps 19:4). This idyllic scene before me reminds me of Ps. 23. I sit here and see the green pastures and the still waters and remember your provision for me and mine.
And yet I wonder why I don't feel this every day. Every day of my life I am surrounded by the evidence of your glory, your love, your provision. But every day, I look right over those things and want. Not want in the sense of lack, but want in the sense of covet. I am taxed by this tenth commandment. I covet everything I see.
Paul speaks of contentment in Phil 4:11-13. Paul had learned to be content in any circumstance by leaning and relying on you. I look at this world around me, I think of you as shepherd, and I wonder how I could be discontent as your child. How can I see the provision in the creation and want more? How can the superficiality of the world tempt me to covet when I am surrounded by the evidence of your hand? How can the creator of this universe, and all that I can and cannot see, not be enough?
I Tim 6:6-8 "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."
Job was distraught over all that he had lost. When he prayed for forgiveness at the end of his struggles, he did it not knowing that God would restore him. He repented and stayed true to God, and then God gave him twice as much as he had had before. He didn't praise God for restoring his wealth, he praised God for God's majesty and power. That's where I fail. I praise God and I thank him for his provision without realizing that his provision is around me, in me, at all times. This body, these tiny cells, are enough to praise him for. Everything else is just covetousness. If I can't be content with this life, then why would God give me more? So all the schemes of man to gain wealth are fruitless because they lead to nothing. "Godliness with contentment is great gain."
In the story of Jonah, God provided what was needed, but not what Jonah wanted.
Jonah 1:17 "But the LORD provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights,"
Jonah 4:6-8 "Then the LORD God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, 'It would be better for me to die than to live.'"
Being in the belly of the fish seems like a punishment, but God used that to SAVE Jonah so he could continue to grow. God does that with me too. He provides what I need for spiritual growth, but it's not always what I want or what I think is best.


The reason I write these musings from a month ago is that they are so alive in my mind today. I sometimes feel so inadequate to be teaching kids when I struggle so much with the same issues that I'm teaching them about. But I know that it's God using my service to grow me, and I find another reason to praise him.

Kenzie's aliens

Last week, on the way to school, Kenzie started telling me about the aliens who visit her in her bedroom at night. They have square heads and a "thing" pointing out at the top. They have long conversations about tiny little monsters that don't exist. The aliens like to pray with her. This is how they pray:
They fold their hands together backwards, and say, "Dear God, please give us a new world. Our world is way too small. We need more room, so please give us a new world."
I asked about this, and she explained that the aliens live on Pluto, and now Pluto is so small it's not even a planet.
I asked her, "If they can come to earth to talk to you, why don't they just go live on another planet, like Mars."
"Oh, mom. Those aliens are way too mean!"

That night, as I was putting her to bed, she pointed at her wall and said, "See, there are the aliens."
On her wall are two pages from a coloring book, tacked up with push pins. Her lamp is on a table below these pages. The shadow cast upward from the pages and the push pins looks like two rectangular heads with a "thing" pointing out. She smiled. I smiled. The aliens smiled.

I have a job interview today to expand my freelance proofreading/editing business. Pray for me.